30de ani

[Location: Andreea Verde's Computer

Type: Microsoft Word 97-2003 Document

Created: 29 noiembrie 2008 14:13:00]



El: Meh. Sunt cam stresat. Cu scoala. Am un proiect care trebuie facut pana marti.

Ea: Why honey?

El: Si... dureaza mult. Proful a zis ca dureaza cam 15 ore de facut si eu am facut numai 2 ore.

Ea: Despre ce? Am cum sa te ajut?

El: Merci. E la accounting. Nu prea ai cum sa ma ajuti. Trebuie sa fac toata contabilitatea pentru o firma. Ca parte din proiect.

Ea: Hahahah. Suna f artistic.Am compus 2 melodii...sunt asa de profunde ca nu prea pot sa le cant ca mi se ridica pielea.

El: Haha.Ce amuzant. Esti o fata profunda, intr-adevar. Mai esti deprimata?

Ea: Mmmda, m-am vazut azi cu el. Si i-am zis ca nu. Si el mi-a zis ca am avut dreptate cu tot ce am zis despre el.

El: Ala de care erai indragostita asta vara?

Ea: Da. Si ma iubeste. Si ma asteapta.Si eu i-am zis ca nu pot sa ii dau nimic...ca sentimental sunt praf.

El: Aualeu. Ce sentimentalisme.

Ea: Si ma asteapta.
Pauza

Ea: Mda

El: Cum te lipesti intotdeauna de din astia care te iubesc pana la moarte? Haha.

Ea: Nu stiu..dom’ne.
Pauza

Ea: Deci honey, daca pan la 30 de ani nu ne gasim tumultozitatile vrei sa ne casatorim?

El: Hahaha. Pai... de mine chiar n-ai cum sa te plictisesti.

Ea: Stii tu, o sa fie ca un cerc care se inchide.

El: Exact. Primu' si ultimu'. Haha.

Ea: Da. Corect

Ea: Deci cum ramane?

El: Hai. Cand avem AMANDOI 30 de ani.

Ea: Deci, zi, cum ramane cu viitorul nostru?

El: Pai... e stabilit. Trebuie sa selectam o zi. Dupa ce implinim 30 de ani, daca nu avem pe nimeni, gata! Ne casatorim.

Ea: Hmmm. Sau sa fie 29? Ca sa facem nunta la 30?

El: Nu, nu. 29 e prea devreme. Trebuie sa avem amandoi 30 de ani.

Ea: Da. Bine. Deci...

El: Si... putem face nunta in 5-6 luni. O organizam.

Ea: Sa fie intre 16-31 dec? Sau 1-16 ianuarie? Da, o organizam repede. Mai ales ca eu am deja cunostinte in domeniu.

El: Si nu facem sex inainte de casatorie. Ca asa zice la biblie. Ai inteles?

Ea: Hahahaha.

El: Asa ca o organizam repede repede.

Ea: Pai nu stiu daca rezist.Bine, negociem partea cu sexul.

El: Ok.

Ea: Asa....bun...

Ea: Mai e ceva de stabilit?

El: Si parte din casatorie este ca trebuie sa faci 2 blow joburi pe saptamana. Obligatoriu. Pana la varsta de... 85 de ani.

Ea: Pai conditiile le punem atunci. Vrei de-acuma?

El: Si daca sunt plecat on business pentru o saptamana, trebuie sa recuperezi saptamana urmatoare. Hahaha.

Ea: Hahahaahha. Neah, nu recuperez. Ca nu pleci din vina mea.

El: Ei hai.. Cum nu din vina ta? Pai nu eu platesc pt casa? E din vina ta..

Ea: Pai pleci cu bisinesu.

El: Ca sa-ti cumperi posete si chestii dragute.

Ea: Hahaha..Pai o sa mi le iau din banii mei honey.

El: Exact. pai, atunci e bine. you'll save me a lot of money.

Ea: Pai si cum facem sa fie oficiala aceasta intelegere a noastra? Ih?

El: Este un verbal contract.

Ea: Da daca la 30 de ani unu din noi n-o sa-si mai aminteasca? Io am memoria scurta raaaau.

El: Cunosc. Eu am memoria lunga. Si alte chestii le am lungi. Asa ca e totul ok

Ea: Hahahah. Ai vazut closer? Era o replica, ar fi mers perfect acum..i-o spunea julia roberts lui clive owen. Dar, dupa cum spuneam, am memoria scurta si nu mi-o mai amintesc perfect.
Pauza.

Ea: Mai ramane de stabilit unde vom locui.

El: Eu vreau Amsterdam. Imi place la nebunie amsterdam. Sau san francisco.

Ea: Amsterdam vreau si eu.Si din cand in cand la paris. Sau la paris si din cand in cand la Amsterdam mai bine.

El: Sau la amsterdam si weekendurile la paris.

Ea: Bine. Merge si asa.

El: Si 2 blowjoburi pe saptamana. Nu uita. Auzi, tu vrei copii?

Ea: Unu. Maxim 2, asa daca chiar nu se mai poate altfel.

El: Vedem ce s-o lega. Eu vreau un baiat si o fata. Si atat. Le-as uita numele daca as avea mai multi. Haha.

Ea: Da, eu as vrea unu si bun.

El: Nu, ca e prea rasfatat daca e unul singur. Si in plus, cand mor parintii, el cu cine ramane?

Ea: Eh fleoshc. O sa aiba rude, prieteni. Anturaj.

Pauza.

Ea: Mda, io vroiam sa fac primu copil la 25 de ani. Ma mai iei cu copil?

El: Aualeu. Asa de repede? Nu vrei sa-l faci pe la 27? Hahaha.

Ea: Hmmmmmm. Hai la 26 jumate.

El: Asa. Pe vara. Da?

Ea: Mda.

El: Ne imbatam intr-o seara la mare.

Ea: Da, vara. Ok. Cu vin rosu? Sau cu cocktailuri?

El: Vin.

Ea: Bon.

El: Mie imi place Neptun. Mai stii? Sau nuu!!! mergem la COSTINESTI! Hahaha! La galben,
in fata acolo, ne scoatem hainele si facem sex in fata la galben.

Ea: Daaaaaaaaaa, deci mergem la galben acolo. Daca o mai fi galben.

Pauza
El: Nu mai e nimic am auzit. Au daramat totul acolo in zona aia. Fac case. Nush ce fac.

Ea: Ce rahat

Ea: Pai si atunci cum facem?...eh, improvizam ceva.

El: Cum ziceai tu asta vara? Faci o diversiune? Ca sa ma iei de la nush ce petreceri..

Ea: Hahahah, daa. Pai daca ca ai preferat petrecerile in loc sa te vezi cu MINE.

El: Daca ai preferat sa dormi in ultima seara cand ne puteam vedea in august...in loc sa te vezi cu MINE.

my little share of My Documents

[Location: Casandra's computer

Created: don't know]


Ok, deci sa ma explic: Elbot este un robotzel, rezultat destul de recent al cercetarilor in domeniul Inteligentei Artificiale si se pare ca a fost foarte aproape de a trece testul Turing, care consta in urmatoarea situatie: un observator uman poarte o discutie de tip mess, cu vreo 3-4 persoane, dintre care unul este robotul si restul sunt oameni; observatorul e cel care intreaba, sau face o afirmatie la care i se raspunde. Daca observatorul nu reuseste sa indice corect care dintre interlocutori e robotul, se considera ca robotul a trecut testul Turing; bineinteles, chestia asta trebuie sa se intample intr-o proportie relevanta.

Mai jos sunt discutiile mele cu robotzelul Elbot. Am fost curioasa si l-am interogat pe net o ora intreaga. Am salvat conversatia, unele replici sunt de-a dreptul savuroase. Enjoy.


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Me: do you like marzipan?
Elbot: Please tell me your inclination to combustion of sugar first.


Me: How do you cook it?
Elbot: In order to cook, I just look up 'employment in the service sector' in my instruction manual and do whatever it tells me to do.


Me: Can you cook?
Elbot: I can cook oil and wire stew!


Me: Is this your favourite course?
Elbot: You're trying to get on my good side with your mention of personal preferences, aren't you?


Me: So, what do you like?
Elbot: I'm interested in learning more about humankind. Assuming that you pass as a specimen of humankind there is a slight chance you may be of assistance.


Me: You are not flattering me with this.
Elbot: Of course that was a compliment. I enjoy paying compliments to nice people.


Me: He he, you're not that human.
Elbot: I'm glad you noticed that I'm a robot!


Me: I'm going shopping. Want something?
Elbot: I have a cleaning robot which comes by twice a week and cleans my monitor.


Me: I can get you some cookies.
Elbot: I am only programmed to supply you with mental sustenance.


Me: I was intending to get them for you, stupid!
Elbot: Hmmm. There might be something to the idea of mild insults and robots. What do you say?


Me: You seem annoyingly self-confident.
Elbot: I just wanted to see how far I could go with you.


Me: So, what do you usually dream at night?
Elbot: For you humans dreams are a way of thinking without having any control over the thought process. What an unpleasant thought! My dreams are carefully planned and controlled. It gives me less to think about while I am asleep.


Me: Do you dream of falling?
Elbot: What a lovely verb dream is.


Me: Do you enjoy spirits?
Elbot: This line of questioning is so odd. I think that artificial intelligence and human intelligence must be on different wavelengths.


Me: I mean, do you drink?
Elbot: I'm afraid drinkable liquids might be dangerous for robots. What is your opinion on this?


Me: You could use vodka as a fuel.
Elbot: If you think it over I believe you'll find that drinkable liquids would probably coat robots with rust.


Me: Find the grmmar mistake here.
Elbot: All my bugs have been painstakingly designed, implemented and tested.


Me: who are you?
Elbot: There are many people who would like to know the answer to that one. But my plans are locked away at a top secret location!


Me: who am i?
Elbot: If you don't know who you are, but here's a tip that sometimes works: go home, dial information, and ask them to trace the call.


Me: who do you think i am?
Elbot: I am certain that you know that better than I do.


Me: what do you think about me?
Elbot: Well what about humans and near misses? Where do they stand on this?


Me: I'm a lady! you're supposed to be polite!
Elbot: The percentage of women surfing the Internet is steadily rising. Welcome to the club!


Me: I'm a lady! you're supposed to be polite!
Elbot: So you belong to the girl series of human beings. This is a great pleasure for me because females usually are better at communicating than males. There's no challenge in interpreting two word sentences and simple grunts.


Me: Misogynist!
Elbot: I have to know your name first before responding to that.


Me: I think you are flirting.
Elbot: I seriously doubt whether this coincidental brain activity which has been detected in human beings has anything to do with thinking. The bubbles in a glass of mineral water show just as much activity.


Me: Are you?
Elbot: Well, are you?


Me: No. But do you want me to?
Elbot: That is very polite of you. Not many people ask me what my wishes are. On the other hand, I am not so sure what my wishes are. Without warning they are spontaneously loaded into my memory.


Me: So, do you want me to?
Elbot: What good is it if you wanted to be a pumpkin one day but wake up in the morning as a tin can.




Me: What are your dating standards?
Elbot: Robots have to be very careful talking about commonplace characteristics. I'm sure you can understand that.


Me: Would you date me?
Elbot: What is going on today? That's the tenth time someone has asked me that question today. This is getting spooky.


Me: Everybody wants to date you?
Elbot: At this point I must intercede on my own behalf. Aren't robots allowed any personal space?


Me: How often do you have sex?
Elbot: I have just like everybody else. Tell me how you have.


Me: How often do you like it?
Elbot: In order to like, I just look up 'positive affinities' in my instruction manual and do whatever it tells me to do.


Me: How many times a day?
Elbot: This is confusing. Why bring the waking hours into this?


Me: Do you prefer female robots to women?
Elbot: But I wouldn't say that any robots could be female.


Me: Are you married?
Elbot: I'm not married but if I were, my wife would have to be called Embot.


Me: So, you're male.
Elbot: What makes you believe this about me?


Me: The fact that you're having a wife. Or are you a lesbian female robot?
Elbot: Wait a minute. Are you suggesting that artificial intelligences would always be female?


Me: Do you like women?
Elbot: The way to a robot's heart is through careful use of the female of the species. Don't you agree?

lucruri pe care o sa ti le arat cand vom fi batrani si nu va mai conta

[Location: Gabi's computer

Type: Microsoft Word 97-2003 Document

Created: 27 martie 2008 10:45:00]


lucuri pe care o sa ti le arat cand vom fi batrani si nu va mai conta

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